


Golden Eyes

by Kimmy



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Gift Fic, Happy Birthday!, M/M, Warlock Marks (Shadowhunter Chronicles)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-26
Updated: 2018-10-26
Packaged: 2019-08-08 00:46:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16419239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kimmy/pseuds/Kimmy
Summary: There are things Jace and Magnus want to say but can't bring themselves to do it. Those kinds of things... they always come out.Or: Clary figures a way to help Jace not kill himself with the Soul Sword. Jace tries to sacrifice himself anyway because of course he does.





	Golden Eyes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Takara_Phoenix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Takara_Phoenix/gifts).



> Happy birthday to my parabatai, the most amazing human and a genius writer. This fic turned out nothing like I expected it to but I hope you enjoy what it ended up.

They had been arguing for an hour now and Jace wasn’t sure how much of the irritation was his and how much Alec’s, standing firmly by Magnus’ side, although the warlock did most of the talking.

“We have to destroy the sword! Don’t you get it? It’s your life at stake too, Magnus!”

“Not if it means you killing yourself! You don’t—“

The shouting match was interrupted by a quiet but pointed clearing of Clary’s throat. Everyone turned to look at the redhead who looked like a mixture of scared, annoyed and bored.

“Not to rain on your self-sacrificing parade, Jace, I love you, big brother, but… Valentine kind of needs me to activate the sword. It’s useless without me. We don’t need to kill anyone, I can just go fuck off on a road trip or something.”

The look Jace gave her seemed so genuinely confused it prompted a snort out of Izzy while Alec just rolled his eyes. 

And Magnus? Magnus looked entirely too smug as he opened a portal for Clary and started discussing the destinations and additional security measures.

And it all went well. Or it would have gone well except for Jace being Jace, who still decided to be an idiot and try to sacrifice himself anyway. Except somehow, the sword didn’t kill Jace. Not quite. Somehow, Jace both activated it and almost killed himself, rendering the sword useless after killing several Downworlders and putting himself in a coma.

It was a mess. 

Magnus stared at the peaceful expression on the blond shadowhunter’s face, finding it quite tragic the way he seemed to only be able to relax when in a coma, with none of them knowing if he would wake up at all. 

The world went on around them, Valentine’s long overdue death, Alexander becoming Head of the Institute, peace (that they seemed to have forgotten what it felt like) finally becoming reality, and in Magnus’ guest bedroom, the room now cozy and personal, Jace slept on.

There were pictures and flowers on his bedside that Izzy kept changing regularly, and a worn armchair that Magnus usually occupied, and Alec took over whenever he found time to hold vigil by his parabatai’s side. Weeks and months went on, New Accords were drafted and politics changed, and somewhere along the way, they found journals Valentine kept on his “son”, like a documentation of a simple experiment.

Every page made Magnus feel sick, and if there was one good thing that came out of it, it was that they found out Jace, to the Inquisitor’s great surprise, was actually a Herondale.

But Jace didn’t wake up just because of that.

Magnus tracked down Tessa, because she deserved to know, and because he hoped maybe she would help. Tessa tried, and Catarina did too, but nothing changed. Nothing changed, except everything did. Because somewhere along the way, when everyone questioned why Jace slept on in Magnus’ loft instead of his new room at the Institute after Alec cleared his name, when Izzy pointed out Magnus sat by his side more often than his family combined.

Somewhere along the way Magnus realized he was in love with Jace.

And he couldn’t care less about empty soulmarks, about people who may be fated for him but were never there, not for the past half millennia, couldn’t care less about anything – he just wanted Jace to wake up.

But when Jace finally did?

He had no idea what to do about it.

***

Magnus brushed a strand of soft, golden hair from the pale forehead. Still unmoving, Jace looked almost ethereal, somehow holy and absolutely beautiful.

Magnus’ heart was bursting with a mixture of too many feelings.

“I love you, you idiot. Please wake up.”

What he wasn’t expecting however, was for those stunning eyes to blink open, staring right at him with strange clarity for a moment before closing tightly, trying to block out thelight.

Jace let out a groan.

“What did you just say?”

Well, fuck. Magnus stood up quickly, trying to dismiss his words, pointedly ignore them in the hopes that Jace genuinely didn’t hear. He started rambling, checking Jace over, making sure he was fine while Jace stayed quiet, obediently subjecting himself to the poking and prodding, and the onslaught of hugs that happened once Alec, Izzy and Max were notified that he was awake.

Magnus wasn’t sure  _ why _ he did it, to be honest. It was a panicked, automatic reaction, but once he did it, going back was so much harder. Jace behaved like nothing happened, which could have been because he genuinely didn’t hear it, misinterpreted it, or was just still not himself after the suicide attempt which ended in the death of many. Which, on top of Jace’s already sizeable collection of issues, complicated matters, quite a bit.

And there was of course the discovery of his true parentage. 

Because Jace was a Herondale. Jace was half Angel, and a Herondale, which meant he was also part warlock, and he was  _ a Herondale _ . He was Tessa’s family. He was the Inquisitor’s grandson. Jace Herondale. No longer a man without name. 

And he was… still not really dealing with it.

Jace was a Herondale, which meant he had some demon blood, and he had angel blood, so maybe he was part Seelie? That would explain why he was so ethereally beautiful. But Magnus was  _ not _ thinking about it.

So maybe Magnus was a coward. Or maybe he was just being considerate, right? Jace didn’t need anything else to deal with right now. That was all.

***

Jace made sure Imogen didn’t find out yet. He wasn’t ready for it. He wasn’t sure when he would be ready for it. He was still not quite over the fact he had family, but he did know Imogen Herondale was not what he expected of it, and from what little he had met of her, he just didn’t want to open this particular can of worms. At least not yet.

But Imogen wasn’t his only family.

He had Tessa. Tessa, who was his grand-grand-something-grandmother. Tessa, who married Will Herondale years ago, who was Magnus’ friend… Tessa, who was a warlock. Tessa, Jace actually wanted to meet. 

He spent hours bent over the journal, but there were no answers in it. There was the matter of the angel blood, but that didn’t change anything. Clary had it too, and that was the reason they could make new runes, but it didn’t explain why Jace could also activate them without his stele.

Or the… other things.

The only thing the angel blood did was make him a murderer. 

He sighed, putting his glasses away, closing his eyes tightly to try and make the pain that always came when he read too much go away. He hid them carefully and walked out of the room to wait for Tessa. He loved reading but it was hard. The poor glamour hurt his eyes, but he never dared to drop it, even when he was alone. He was scared.

The prospect of meeting Tessa was… it was scary, but exciting too. Jace hoped maybe Tessa, as a warlock, could have answers for him. 

Magnus probably could help him too, but Magnus was different. Jace was head over heels in love with Magnus, even before the sword, because Magnus was amazing, and caring, and beautiful. But Jace also knew next to nothing about Magnus, not even what his warlock mark was.

And Magnus… Magnus said he loved him but then when Jace woke up, he refused to say it again. And Jace didn’t blame him, couldn’t blame him for words said in the situation, for the fact that with Jace actually  _ there _ , he didn’t feel like it anymore.

So Magnus was not an option.

And Tessa? Tessa was also family. She was a warlock, but she was a shadowhunter too, which was what Jace was, wasn’t it? He had her blood, and it must have been the reason he was the way he was. Tessa understood being out of place among the Nephilim, but she also understood being loyal to them.

Tessa was family. Some part of Jace was so hung up on that, he just hoped, foolishly, it would be enough.

But it wasn’t enough.

Tessa came, and Tessa was wonderful and Tessa… Tessa didn’t have a mark. And Jace didn’t dare say it. Couldn’t bring himself to tell her that they weren’t the same after all. Not when he so desperately just wanted someone to be like him. Not when she was also obviously alone for so long, she deserved better.

***

Jace didn’t like locked doors. 

It was a problem as old as time and had more to do with Valentine’s questionable punishment ideas than his later kidnapping and imprisonment, even if that certainly didn’t help.

Jace didn’t like locked doors but he kept his doors locked or at least closed at all times, because he wanted to read in peace without anyone seeing the glasses.

The glasses were old, and probably the wrong prescription by now but he was attached to them and too scared to change them. He had had them since he was 12. He and Alec were on a hunt, and a demon got Alec, and Jace somehow just touched his parabatai and suddenly Alec was no longer dying and Jace’s eyes were golden and cat-like.

Alec helped him hide and find some books in parts of the library they shouldn’t have been in, and Alec went with him to get the glasses, both of them glamoured as mundanes. It was their secret, and no one but Alec knew. As they grew older and learned more, they both started to suspect it was probably a warlock mark but Jace was a Shadowhunter and he had runes, and none of it made sense.

Jace hated the glasses because they were a reminder of his eyes and the glamour he maintained for over a decade that was a steady pain. He wanted to drop it, but he didn’t dare to. But Jace also loved the glasses. Because no matter how much his eyes hurt, the glasses allowed him to read. And when he hid in some corner with a book and his glasses, for a moment he could just feel normal.

Not some sort of shadowhunter warlock hybrid freak.

Almost mundane.

But today Magnus was out, meeting a client somewhere halfway across the world, and Jace was alone in the loft. He was safe, and he just couldn’t bear the closed doors anymore, and he took the book, and he glasses, and he curled in the armchair and in the amazing open space of the living room.

So of course the one time Jace had let his guard down, happily snuggled with some mundane fantasy fiction, Magnus had to finish his work earlier and portal back, right in front of Jace, who stared at him, half shocked and half terrified as he realised.

He had the glasses on.

“By the Angel, you look adorable!”

And fine. That was  _ not _ the greeting Jace was expecting. In his surprise he didn’t even think to move and take the glasses off.

“Magnus. You weren’t supposed to be home.”

The warlock behaved like he didn’t hear it, instead kneeling in front of the armchair, propping his head on the armrest and studying Jace’s face like he was some interesting specimen. It made Jace feel vaguely uncomfortable.

“Why do you wear glasses? I mean, you look absolutely the cutest in them and I totally wish I had seen this earlier, but isn’t shadowhunter sight supposed to be perfect? Especially with your extra angel blood?”

Jace squirmed a bit, annoyed at being caught.

“It’s a thing. Just leave it be.”

“Come on, Jace. I can help. Please?”

Just just huffed at him and stood to go back to his room, but Magnus followed him. 

“At least talk to Tessa about it if you don’t want my help?”

Jace glared at the foot Magnus had between his room’s door and the doorframe. Chastised, the warlock removed it, and Jace just grunted. Maybe… Maybe Magnus had a point, even if he needed to learn to mind his own business.

***

“Jace!”

“Tessa.” Jace couldn’t help but smile as Tessa hugged him tightly, allowing himself the comfort of the affection. He and Tessa had grown quite close over the past weeks, as Jace eagerly listened to all her stories and she stood by his side, loyal in a way not many people had ever been to Jace. 

“Jace, what’s wrong? Magnus told me you needed my help. Is this about…?”

“No.” Jace coughed.  _ Yes, that too, always that, but you would just insist it’s not my fault.  _ “Well, kind of. Not really. Are we… Are we alone? Can you make sure no one can walk in on us?”

Tessa smiled, a small and a bit nervous smile as she tried to joke.

“Of course. But that sounds a little inappropriate, now you’ve got me scared.” 

He smiled back at that, and found himself realising the smile was actually sincere. 

“Tessa, I have something to tell you. I’m sorry I didn’t before, I just…”

He sighed, dropping the glamour for the first time in recent memory, letting his eyes speak for him. He knew how to bring the glamour up and down easily, he practiced, but he never did it these days, not even when it was just him and his bathroom mirror. He didn’t wanted to look at her, but the situation called for eye contact.

The moment Tessa noticed, she gasped, and Jace could see a plethora of emotions in her expression, from shock to something like compassion, although Jace wasn’t sure why.

“You have a mark. But why wouldn’t you tell me? And cat eyes, at that!”

Suddenly Tessa started laughing, and Jace wasn’t sure why, but instead took the chance to put the glamour back, feeling exposed without it, and chose to answer her question.

“I’m sorry. You just… you just mentioned that you don’t have one, and assumed we were the same and I… I couldn’t bring myself to say it when you seemed so happy.”

“Oh, darling.”

And then Tessa’s arms were around him, her embrace warm and motherly in ways Jace had long forgotten what they felt like, and for once, he allowed himself to be comforted by the simple gesture.

“The glamour… I was 12 when I had to learn how to do it. So it’s not exactly advanced magic. I can’t seem to make it work properly too, but fortunately most people just assume I have heterochromia because of Valentine’s… methods.” He whispered, gesturing to the double-coloured eye. “But it’s not a good glamour, so when I read, it tires my eyes out. And I need glasses. And Magnus saw so…”

He shrugged. Tessa smiled, gently taking his chin and staring into his eyes in a calculating manner.

“Still, it’s quite good work for a 12 year old convinced he’s a shadowhunters. It’s alright, Jace. Do you want me to teach you something better?”

And swallowing down the emotions that were choking him up, Jace nodded.

***

Jace was curled up in an armchair in the living room, reading. 

It’s been a while since he got to enjoy a book like this. More than a while, technically, since he never really did. Before he came to live with the Lightwoods, the only books he read were on demons and warfare. Then the whole warlock mark thing and glamour happened.

But now Tessa helped him figure out how to perfect it and his eyes were fully blue (she taught him how to add the golden corner for when he came back to the Institute) and he could read without his glasses.

And he loved it.

“Puppy, the glasses are gone!”

Jace jumped, trying to catch his breath and calm himself down as Magnus suddenly appeared in front of him,  _ loudly _ . 

“Oh, sorry, did I scare you? You don’t have your glasses anymore. Which is a shame. I mean, it’s also great because that means you can see better but you looked soooo cute in them. Wait. Your eyes are blue now. Like full blue. Why are they full blue?”

Jace exhaled, trying to compose himself and not focus on the way Magnus was very close and staring right into his eyes. He tried very hard to not think about what Tessa told him about soulmates. Warlocks recognizing their fated ones because they both had the same mark.

Like Jace’s cat eyes.

The same as Magnus’.

Which meant absolutely nothing outside of the fact clearly Magnus was only acting irrational because of this strange… bond, and no actual feelings.

“That’s… that’s not your business, okay? Also, personal space, man?”

Magnus flinched a bit, and smiled apologetically at Jace before moving away and perching on the edge of the coffee table in front of Jace. He suddenly looked almost… nervous.

“It’s alright if you don’t want to tell me. And I’m sorry if I ever made you feel… uncomfortable. I just want to make sure you know it’s alright, whatever it is. Jace, I  _ need _ you to know there is no part of yourself you should ever be ashamed of, certainly not here. I… I’ve been through this before. Hating a part of myself. Hating my demon blood. My… my eyes.”

With a blink, Magnus dropped his glamour and Jace couldn’t help staring into those beautiful eyes. So similar to his own, exactly the same, and yet somehow Magnus made them different. They fit him so well.

“I was so desperate, my whole life, to find someone like me, that when I was young, I allowed Asmodeus to take me to Edom, because he had eyes like me.”

Magnus ignored Jace’s sharp intake of breath and continued.

“And then I found about soulmates, and searched for almost half a millennia for someone with eyes like me to spend forever with. But then I…”

Magnus paused, and Jace looked at him, wondering if this was the time for both of them to come clean with what they weren’t saying.

“…then I met you. And I realized I was looking for eyes like mine, instead of looking for real love. And I stopped running after ghosts of possibilities and fell in love with blue-gold eyes.”

And Jace swallowed his own fear, unable to tear his gaze away from sheer sincerity in Magnus’ words. Maybe, just maybe, he should stop running away from a chance at happiness, and believe that this beautiful man could love him.

Closing his eyes, Jace braced himself.

And when he opened them, his eyes shone gold. He could see the realization shining in Magnus’ own eyes, eyes like his, and when their lips met, it was like everything slotted into place.

***

“Jace?”

Jace grunted, not opening his eyes, sleep already starting to come for him where he was curled in Magnus’ bed,  _ in Magnus’ arms _ .

“Can I buy you fake glasses though? Like, frames only, you look so cute—“

Jace didn’t open his eyes but a smile played on his lips as he swatted his hand in Magnus’ general direction.

“Shut up, you kinky bastard, and let me sleep.”

And well. Maybe glasses were not a bad idea if they had that effect on Magnus.

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe I ended up using that title and it was in this fandom and not James Bond XD


End file.
